Not a Perfect Parent

Maybe not first chair... but really cute!

I have not ordered any cod liver oil. I cannot stand the idea of giving my children cod liver oil.  I am sure there are bunches of articles that say that I should be; all of the best parents give their children cod liver oil.  The smell reminds me of a horrible roommate I had in college and I refuse to let it into my house.

I would like to think of myself as one of those greenie, crunchy, but bookish, attachment, Waldorf parents. I have always liked to research the right way to do things. I will admit it, I like being right. From the time I found out I was pregnant for the first time, I bought books, canvassed my friends and peers, did the homework, and was so sure that I was doing everything right. In the last 5 years, I have found that perfection is overrated and I simply cannot (and will not) keep up.

            Yes, I nursed my son until three.  I will likely nurse my daughter that long. I think the breastfeeding, and child led weaning is a healthy, normal and important part of childhood (not motherhood). I also realize that some people do not agree with me, and frankly I am sure that just because a baby has formula that their mother loves them any less. I know it does not make her an unworthy mother because she was unwilling to sacrifice her income, sanity, body, wardrobe, social standing, or long held beliefs.

Mother does not mean martyr, notice how the words are different?

Wordless Wednesday: Daughter & Digger

 

the only words for this "best wake up ever!"

The 4th, the Festival, and more work than I can handle

I don't have too many photo's from the this years Great Blue Heron Festival, because I took tons of video and not so many stills.
But I'll share them with who ever actually does read my little blog-y-poo. We had so much fun, I was so sorry when it was over.
The weather couldn't have been nicer.
Our friends came too, so the little boys got to play together.
There was tons of terrific music and lots of stuff for the kids to do, including riding behind a tractor, playing in hay, sand box, pond swimming, dancing, and singing along as well.
We drank a little beer, ate some camping and festival foods too.
I didn't' make it to the all night dance tent but that's hard to do when you've got a toddler who still doesn't sleep the night just yet.
Besides even with my after noon nap I just couldn't stay up all night. maybe in years to come. its alright I got to dance just plenty. :)

So now back to the real world I have more work than I can handle and hot summer days just do not motivate a girl to do work! (house work or architecture.) Why can't i just get paid to be my fabulous self? I did get up and go out to a meeting yesterday. I really enjoyed being all showered and lip-glossed. I love the music festivals, with all the barefoot dirty hippies, but ultimately I like wearing heels and jewelry. I should get Kiran up from his nap now.

Pricing your own time

In every consultants life there is a time when s/he must put a dollar value to their own time. Yes every hourly employee had to decide weather or not to work for what the boss-man pays, hey some have even gone on strike over bad wages. However, when you have to pull a number out of thin air it actually takes some soul searching. For my entire working career I know I've been paid on the "no penis discount" meaning (at least in architecture) .75 Denise Scott Brown cents on every Robert Venturi $1.00. Even when I started working for a woman owned firm and got a 25% raise, I was still in the hole because i started out at a lower salary.

So now that I'm in a position to really call the shots and value my professional expertise for what it is, I'm having a little sticker shock. The thing is, so far every client has been totally on board with what I've asked. My informal market survey says that I'm definitely in the ball park. And hey who says they can't negotiate? I know its a case of wavering self-esteem. I do the things I do, it's not hard for me; it would be impossible for my clients to do. So I should charge appropriately for my time and expertise. Not to mention I have to cover the nanny/sitter's time too. (For some reason no one expects that to come out of my husbands pay, just mine but thats another blog for another day.)

Ok so as soon as I close this window I'm going to write a couple of proposals and ask for my more than fair price. Because I'm worth it. Heck after the projects done I may even color my hair.

I'm going to start this blog with the same quote that I ended my last one.

"Women constitute 50% of the world's population, do two-thirds of the world's work, and own one-tenth of the world's wealth. We are all raised in a culture that values men's work over women's work and men's lives over women's lives."


-- K. Soin, Member of Parliament, Singapore