All About Dads: Fathers Have Something To Do With It
When I was about 6, my mom's best friend son and I spent lots of time together. I distinctly remember the back seat of her Volvo, Anthony and I were having a heated debate about the origins of babies. I think our mom's were just listening in to see what our little minds would come up with. My theory, based on the fact that my aunt had just had a baby, and was not married, was that women decided to have babies and were simply nice enough to share them with their husbands. If they didn't have a husband, then they didn't have to share. Poor Tony, didn't really know how father were involved in the baby making process, he was only 6 but he insisted that dad's did have something to do with it, and there by had some inalienable rights to their children. Fortunately for the Tony, our mom's settled the dispute, stating that fathers did have something to do with the process, and had both a right and responsibility to their shared children.When we were in seventh or eighth grade Tony lost his father to cancer. I don't really remember all the details, excpt image of Tony, not yet a man, in a slightly over size suit holding his little sister's hand at the funeral. Maybe he was a little embarrassed to be crying in front of a classmate, by then we weren't as close as when we were at 6, but he barely made eye contact with me. I had no idea what to say, but in this moment I knew that a father is more than DNA, or your mother's husband. I still compare all grief to the look on that little boys face, I am crying as I write this now.
Tony's father was the first architect/planner I had ever met up close, we'd play video games in their attic next to his drawing boards. They did the the coolest kitchen renovation I had ever seen. Its funny but both Tony and I ended up going to architecture school, although neither of us are strictly practicing at the moment. I miss Tony's dad, I wish he could have seen the man that he's become.
I have a pretty good relationship with my father. He is the best kind of, loving, caring, there for me, no-nonsense, take of the training wheels, practice your clarinet, back-yard fort, Sunday Star Trek, guitar and golf addicted dad that anyone could ask for. Even though I don't call him as much as a should, I am truly thankful. So Happy Father's Day to all the dad's out there, and thanks Tony for convincing me, when I was 6, that dad's did have something to do with babies.
